> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Day 19: Find a partner early - URL: https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-19-partner-poll/ - Published: 2025-12-18T17:45:45.000Z - Updated: 2025-12-18T17:45:44.000Z - Description: Or not at all. - Author: Alicia McKay - Tags: 🎄 24 Days of Unpopular Opinions Should finding a life partner be a priority in early adulthood? Or should we focus on other things? According to two subscribers who sent their unpopular opinions in, the answer is... yes. I'm staying out of this one. Read, vote, and let me know your thoughts. ## Two subscribers, two unpopular opinions 🥊 In the red corner is Anon #1 with the opinion that ****women should have higher aspirations than marriage and motherhood.** Women shouldn't aspire to being married and having children. It's basically a power construct to ensure the less desirable hetero men get to have sex and disorganised men get domestic support. Otherwise, historically, we'd have all formed harems around the alpha males - and probably had a lot more fun. The female bachelor can be much happier, more successful financially and have many more fulfilling life experiences and adventures without this. (Plus, not spend her free time in her 30s and 40s ferrying kids around to after school activities and serving as unpaid CEO of the household.) 🥊 In the blue corner is Anon #2 with the opinion that we should ****partner-shop early, or pay the opportunity cost later.** Advice I wish I'd heard and understood: In your twenties, seriously focus on who you want to have a relationship with. Take the time to figure out what works for you, sort your shit out, and pounce on a good quality option. Who you have on your team makes a massive difference to your life. You're in a situation of diminishing returns. Your twenties have enormous amounts of choice, and you think it will continue... but it's gonna end up like sifting through the last 5 heads of broccoli before a long weekend in the not too distant future, and the bad news is, there aren't any good ones left. The emotionally healthy, resilient, active, cheerful and fun broccoli already got taken home and locked down. (And yeah, that probably means you may not be in that category either!) SO - focus, sort your shit out, bounce if it isn't working, and make sure you shop early while the best quality produce is available. And if you didn't get one in the first round, keep a tight eye out for good produce re-entering the market, with a demonstrated ability to commit and be a good partner ... and move very very fast if you want to grab one before other shoppers! Who you choose as a partner is a significant choice, be an active participant in that choice, and be decisive! And - if you don't have a good partner, move on for the love of God, and look after yourself. Being single is vastly better than being lonely in a shit relationship. When you're happy with your life, all the other stuff goes better too - so make good, considered choices about your home life, it'll also pay off hugely in your work life. --- ## Vote for the winning opinion Two unpopular opinions - but who will be the winner? Vote below - then click through to see the results. | Which unpopular opinion do you side with? [Women should have higher aspirations than marriage and motherhood.](https://aliciamckay.typeform.com/to/gk48Qcbh?typeform-medium=embed-email&ref=aliciamckay.co.nz#answers-0dc95a7d-0f15-4b6b-82cd-e641f5874eb5=773bed33-260f-43a4-92cc-65194b78b725) [Lock a partner down early or pay the opportunity cost later.](https://aliciamckay.typeform.com/to/gk48Qcbh?typeform-medium=embed-email&ref=aliciamckay.co.nz#answers-0dc95a7d-0f15-4b6b-82cd-e641f5874eb5=36781625-abd3-4ecb-9854-0ff28b8709b4) | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --- ### 🎄 About 24 Days of Unpopular Opinions This December, I'm calling bullshit, to keep you sane over the silly season. Over 24 days, I'll share 24 unpopular opinions - like an advent calendar, but filled with controversy instead of chocolate. Share widely to whoever else needs this. **Catch up on unpopular opinions you might have missed:** [December 1: You don't have a strategy](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-1-2025/) [December 2: CEOs are tiny babies](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-2-24-ceos-are-tiny-babies/) [December 3: Women should be ugly and mean](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/women-should-be-ugly-and-mean/) [December 4: Leaders are dry drunks](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-4-dry-drunk/) [December 5: Conspiracy theorists are right](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-5-conspiracy-theorists) [December 6: We should tell people to shut up](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-6-shut-up) [December 7: We should lose our Internet privileges](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-7-internet) [December 8: Self-help is a con](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-8-self-help/) [December 9: There's no right answer](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-9-right-answer/) [December 10: Play the power game](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-10-power-game) [December 11: Email is evil](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-11-email-is-evil) [December 12: Your list sucks](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-12-your-list-sucks) [December 13: We need to talk about class](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-13-class) [December 14: Kiwis don't work hard](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-14-work-hard) [December 15: Boredom is good](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-15-boredom-is-good/) [December 16: Money comes first](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-16-money-comes-first) [December 17: You're not important](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-17-not-important) [December 18: You're stuck with yourself](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-18-stuck-with-yourself) [December 19: Find a partner early (or not)](https://www.aliciamckay.co.nz/day-19-partner-poll) ## Sign up for 24 Days of Unpopular Opinions Don't miss a day! Survive the silly season with fresh daily takes, served piping hot. Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.