Is all advice just projection?

I sparked a robust debate at my dinner table tonight with the following two ideas:

1. All advice is projection - i.e. someone who is telling you what they wish they had done/ were doing. When someone gives you advice, listen closely to hear more about their hopes, dreams, wishes, failures and constraints.
2. Solicited advice is more valuable than its unsolicited twin. If you select the advice-giver and topic, you are more receptive to the advice. Unsolicited advice is objectively poorer quality, plus puts people's guards up.

The two ideas rub up against each other a bit. If you ask someone for advice, is it fair or correct to suggest they're projecting their own shit onto you?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Instead of giving you advice, I'd like your thoughts.

• Is all advice just projection?
• Can people with bad outcomes give good advice?
• Should anyone be giving advice?

Keen to hear from you,

AM

The comment thread on this LinkedIn post about mansplaining is a delightful piece of advice-based irony. The top comments include dozens of women sharing similar stories and feeling heard, peppered with man after man explaining that it isn't about gender at all and woman have it all wrong.

You can't make this stuff up.

The comments on this post could be satire. | Alicia McKay

The comments on this post could be satire.

LinkedInAlicia McKay

P.S. - I've written a little about advice in the past - like this little ditty on criticism:

What to do with criticism: who to listen to, and who to ignore

If you don’t want their outcome, don’t accept their input.

Alicia McKayAlicia McKay